ranits123

._____.

Hello,

I hardly ever return to my journal in deviantArt since I have few readers here. Now and then I try to post various artwork representing what I've done in a short passage of time. The bad news are that I dropped out of the university I was so proud of attending. I had a massive disagreement with subjects of science. For eons I have disliked math and it became my enemy once again. So here I am - unemployed and uneducated. However I educate myself now, which proves to be more and more enjoyable. Soon I'll travel to the Spanish island of Tenerife to live and work there for half a year. I will grab that opportunity to see the wildlife of a different climate! Photos shall be made indeed.

A wind of change is blowing my way and I have sought answers for a while. I find myself more and more close to nature, cut from the capitalistic power of our governments and more in touch with the Earth. I have reason to believe that life is possible without chains of the modern society. Status and glory is to be earned not through money, but self-worth, intelligence and kindness. So a mission to help nature, preservation of it and all the species in it, including ourselves. What a bright, free and boundless future for me indeed. A dream for sure, but one I intend to achieve.

Tenerife is just a stop on long way around the world. I will see it so.

I'm now obtaining a bachelors degree in gene technology/genetic engineering at the Tallinn University of Technology. Goodies.

I draw, still.

Hardly working.

Done this and that. I have submitted a few of my latest "crap" or "art" if you will. School, since I'm in the final year, sucks. Its boring and I skip a few days every week. To be honest, I should be at school now, yet I'm not.

Keep rocking!

Once again. I have embarked on this journey to write this journal. Times have gone by, and 18 creeps closer. I have come to a point in my life where I stood up and asked, where is this going?

I have come to a conclusion that I wish to learn everything, but I am demoralized by the fact that I do not understand mathematics or physics at all. I value wisdom the most, but this is something that I am not able to get. I state that I can yes study a lot of things, but I can certainly exclude physics and mathematics - although I had a dream of becoming a nuclear physician (probably spelled wrong).

I feel that I am tearing myself apart with all of the different things that life has to offer. Certainly I am not speaking of meager things as drinking or partying, life itself has so much to give to me in the way of knowledge. I want to learn biology, astrology, chemistry, art, political science, sociology etc. I want to be educated enough so I can change the world for the better - but still, I know I desire to do these things, but i can't. I cannot force myself to read or generally educate myself.

I wish to do everything and even more - but I am at a point of little or no chance of returning.