Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
  • Listening to: Clint Mansell - Leaving Earth
  • Reading: Berserk Vol.1
  • Watching: Durarara!!
  • Playing: Minecraft, TERA
  • Eating: Rice
  • Listening to: Xavier Rudd - Yandi
  • Watching: Nausicaa : Valley of the Wind
  • Playing: Minecraft

I hardly ever return to my journal in deviantArt since I have few readers here. Now and then I try to post various artwork representing what I've done in a short passage of time. The bad news are that I dropped out of the university I was so proud of attending. I had a massive disagreement with subjects of science. For eons I have disliked math and it became my enemy once again. So here I am - unemployed and uneducated. However I educate myself now, which proves to be more and more enjoyable. Soon I'll travel to the Spanish island of Tenerife to live and work there for half a year. I will grab that opportunity to see the wildlife of a different climate! Photos shall be made indeed.

A wind of change is blowing my way and I have sought answers for a while. I find myself more and more close to nature, cut from the capitalistic power of our governments and more in touch with the Earth. I have reason to believe that life is possible without chains of the modern society. Status and glory is to be earned not through money, but self-worth, intelligence and kindness. So a mission to help nature, preservation of it and all the species in it, including ourselves. What a bright, free and boundless future for me indeed. A dream for sure, but one I intend to achieve.

Tenerife is just a stop on long way around the world. I will see it so.
  • Listening to: Xavier Rudd - Land Rights
  • Reading: McMurry "Organic Chemistry"
I'm now obtaining a bachelors degree in gene technology/genetic engineering at the Tallinn University of Technology. Goodies.

I draw, still.
  • Listening to: Gabba Voodoo - Drugs Destroy
  • Reading: K.Ristikivi "Õige Mehe Koda"
  • Watching: College Humor
  • Playing: World of Warcraft
  • Drinking: Syrupwater
Hardly working.

Done this and that. I have submitted a few of my latest "crap" or "art" if you will. School, since I'm in the final year, sucks. Its boring and I skip a few days every week. To be honest, I should be at school now, yet I'm not.

Keep rocking!
  • Listening to: Suicide Silence - Unanswered
  • Reading: K.Marx - Capital
  • Playing: Age of Conan
Once again. I have embarked on this journey to write this journal. Times have gone by, and 18 creeps closer. I have come to a point in my life where I stood up and asked, where is this going?

I have come to a conclusion that I wish to learn everything, but I am demoralized by the fact that I do not understand mathematics or physics at all. I value wisdom the most, but this is something that I am not able to get. I state that I can yes study a lot of things, but I can certainly exclude physics and mathematics - although I had a dream of becoming a nuclear physician (probably spelled wrong).

I feel that I am tearing myself apart with all of the different things that life has to offer. Certainly I am not speaking of meager things as drinking or partying, life itself has so much to give to me in the way of knowledge. I want to learn biology, astrology, chemistry, art, political science, sociology etc. I want to be educated enough so I can change the world for the better - but still, I know I desire to do these things, but i can't. I cannot force myself to read or generally educate myself.

I wish to do everything and even more - but I am at a point of little or no chance of returning.
  • Listening to: Crystal Castles - Untrust us
  • Watching: Megaman
  • Playing: World of Warcraft
  • Drinking: Heineken
Once in a while I come here to write this journal, my personal diary. I wish I was more of a person who would just sit and write day after day, but I'm not. I'm not a person from whom you'd expect tons of poems everyday or tons of drawings or anything as such.

I'm a lazy son of a b*tch. I'm like a dragon, sleeping on it's pile of gold and fending off treasure seekers once in a while. Yes, you are the treasure seekers, dear people reading this. I do not mean to offend anyone.

Summer has made me a slob, such a slob, that I rarely even go outside anymore. Alright, thats too harsh, I do go outside quite often, but not as much as I'd like to.

Art, too much of a slob to do anything so just keep your thumbs up and wait for it - it'll come some time soon.
  • Listening to: Josh Groban - You Raise Me Up
  • Watching: 1408
  • Playing: Guitar Hero III
  • Eating: Bubblegum
Now, the holiday is just up my doorstep, but the spirit has not yet come in me. I never fancied the decorating and gift-giving. I do have to admit that getting gifts is a nice thing for a change.

I haven't written anything for a while on deviantart, no poems, no journal updates - no nothing, but i've added some drawings. School is stealing all my time and ofcourse now i have some time.

I think that, im still not yet so-so complete as i want to be. I feel stress, lack of energy and lack of friendship and trust all the time. I truly wish someone would just lend me their shoulder.

This weekend i did have quite some time to rest - which i did. I am feeling much better now, but always could be better. It seems there is much on my shoulders - pain, problems, worries and other similar things.

A warm Christmas to you all, i hope you enjoy it !
  • Listening to: Herald - Hevilihas
  • Reading: Nothing...
  • Watching: Jin-Roh: The wolf brigade
  • Playing: Dragon Raja
  • Eating: Spaghetties
  • Drinking: Milk
I speak of myself in the title. I thought for a second, minute about myself. People say im cool, gorgeous or whatever. The thing is that i don't think so about myself. I find myself weird, strange, odd or any other word for that subject. I draw, write, play guitar and act like a child. Whenever i get bored when im out with my friends, i start acting like a total child - i mock them, i tell lame jokes about them, i start "crying" for small things and... i think im like mentally retarded??

Catching title. I haven't written anything for a while now. I don't feel like it. Im not on a writing period now. These days i only wait for the msn windows to blink. I want to be talked to. I kinda think im lonely inside. My girlfriend - a bad subject. I don't know about her. And i don't know about my feelings, which is the worst part.

Autumn break. Well i finished with to Failed classes. Which were English ( ^^ ) and Russian. The teachers were like - why don't you use your powers, you are a smart boy. I always think of that this way - they tell it to all the children. i don't have superpowers, i do not wear underpants on my usual pants like superman, okay?. Thats just how i feel about these things.

Im so weird ><

Well. I've reached 1000 :D yay. ^^

It's my b-day! ^^

Sat Jul 9, 2005, 9:47 AM
It is my birthday today. I would like to thank DA for my one week subscription. If i'll like it i will buy it ^^

Well as for gifts, my mom bought me a new keyboard ^^ Yay!
Then i got a Puma Football. It's so cool. Then I also got a Le Coq sports jacket. And some blouse. I havent had the party yet so... Im quite confused. Im back from camp.

I would especially thank/greet or whatever mentioning thing these people :

:iconxxkinetik: - chek her art out.

:iconkatanimate: - umm... chek her art out?

:iconshadowfax88: - horses...

:iconyaoi-fanfreak: - art.

:iconyumeyouko: - art.

:iconr3deyejedi: - im gonna buy all his t-shirts

Im too tired to write a poem. Sorry ppl.
  • Listening to: Ultramelanhool - Fööniks Tõuseb
  • Reading: Silmarillion
  • Watching: Lord of the rings 3 (uncut)
Well... I have a few things to say. A few friends to greet. And a few more things to do. As all of you know : of course. A poem in the end. Wait for it.

                      People i want to thank:

  :iconxxkinetik: :iconannikenhannevik: :iconcandysores: :iconbluesdriven: :iconkatanimate: :iconsvana-lyn: :icondigitalmagic:

                      People i want to greet:

:iconmoosedogs2: :iconbluesdriven: :iconxxkinetik:

Well the next airsoft game im going to paritcipate is in July. And also im stepping my first steps on the road: "Rando becomes Van Damme" which means that i will get into shape. Not remain a evil fat hacker forever. Wish me luck. 3+ months of personal training.
And now.. what you've all been waiting for - a Poem:

    "Becoming strong, losing weight"
     If you want to lose some weight
     Grow and gain some height
     Lose the big fat belly infront of you
     And lose alot of fat in your body, too

     Then you got to get some pain
     As said :"No pain, no gain"
     Work up your muscles and butt
     Turn back you shall not

     Lift some weight and get some power
     Eat healthy food and you will become a tower
     Some of us are born to be small
     Yes some...but not all.

     You can be the next Van Damme,
     Or the next mighty Arnold
     They have worked all their lives
     They dont believe the commerical lies...
Haven't been saying anything for a while so i thought i should say at least something. Well i have drewn some pictures on paper, but i still am looking forward for the moment i can post them to
DA. And as always - xxkinetik is still the nicest :hug:
And of course DiGiTALMAGiC is the pro. And :hug:
Well im currently listening to Metsatöll which is my favourite band in the whole wide world. *skips song* I think i should think out of a poem in a second...

      "Forest Lord"

It dwells in the deep forest den
it has it's place in the nature men
it's claws are longer than a sword
for it is the forest lord.

It's lonely and mighty howl
when your near you hear it growl
it's teeth are big and long
the lord is great and strong

It is no pagan god
it's eyes are angry and sad
it's hair is sharp and thick
cold is it's lick

It's a wolf in you all
when you hear the natures call
the mighty forest lord
is in us all
big and small
Well. It seemes that I have magically reached 100+ views in 10 months! okay. not ten months but about in one month. That's sick. My friend has about 500 views in one week. Really thats like unfair or something. LOVE MY ART!. Basically i need more "watched by's" and ofcourse obivously xxkinetik rules more than she ever has ruled...
mkay. now a poem <- im freaky.

Deviantart is cool,
and if i could i'd skip school.
i get alot of friends
and thats not my mind that bends.

xxkinetic is nice.
and hates mice
i havent seen her yet
but she is beautiful i bet

poems nice be
written by me
stories are more to come
a bunch or some :D

sick poems... sick poems...
Is my best friend eva on the internet. =)
And Me like her cause of her kindness.